Kreed Kafer, please

So what has Derek Acorah been up to since his retirement from Most Haunted in the aftermath the Kreed Kafer incident? Well, it turns out he has a new self titled talking-to-the-dead show on one of the more obscure Sky channels.

It really is worth watching. For anyone who has only seen him shouting incoherently in dramatic night-vision and getting violent towards Yvette Fielding while "possessed", it will be a revelation to see him in a totally pink studio trying to work out why someone's pet rabbit is restless by talking over his shoulder to his invisible friend, Sam.

However, despite his woefully underwhelming cold reading and his hot reading, easily distinguishable by it's relative level of detail, the thing that really gets to me the most about his act is his merciless butchery of the English language.

The extent of this can not merely be described, so I have transcribed, word for word, an example from an episode that was on the other day. The following is said while addressing the owner of a pendant he is holding:

"Can I say to you, please, you would have knowledge of certain knowledge, but can I say to you, please, would I be correct, please, in my feelings of a person that would have been in - uh uh - connection with this at some time, would have come over to the world of spirit very fast?"

Did you get that?